


Embrace the Sun - Embrace the Shadow

by TSValing



Series: Dawn and Dusk [1]
Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, First Crush, Fluff and Humor, Hugs, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSValing/pseuds/TSValing
Summary: Takes place during Looming Shadow: Before Aloy has a chance to return to the apartment to rest, she's called back to the ridge one last time to see to a dilemma for one of her allies.Vanasha made a suggestion, and Nil is eager to know if it'll work.





	Embrace the Sun - Embrace the Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was inspired by two photos I took during one of my last play-throughs that I will post to my tumblr (@tsvaling). Nil is just so happy and chatty, it's adorable, so I had to write something for my favorite murder husband and his beloved murder wife.  
> This was going to be silly and borderline crack, but then emotions got involved and it turned a bit serious. But then her other allies had to get involved at the end, and it turned back to silly humor and 'everyone loves Aloy'. Let's be honest, the girl deserves all the love and friendship she can get.  
> Edit: I completely forgot that Aloy hugged Teersa after she heard Rost's story. Soooo... we're all just gonna forget that for the sake of this one-shot, lol.  
> Edit 2: I fixed the errors I missed before.

Wire, blaze, metal vessels, more wire, more blaze...

Aloy triple checked her things after handing the merchant the shards owed. She had a decent cache to begin with, but the battle she was preparing for promised to be a thing of nightmares. She could not risk running out of the most basic supplies while facing down a horde of deathbringers to save all life from going extinct - _again_.

“Ma'am,” a guard called to her just as she began to pack up her new gear. She glanced up to see one of the gate guards from the ridge waving her down in the village marketplace.

Ice ran through her veins and her gut knotted with worry as she headed toward him. She had just come from the Spire and had stopped in the village for supplies before she planned to head back up to the city. She didn't think she would be able to rest much, but she knew she needed to be fresh for the battle ahead. If there were already signs of Eclipse movement, though, she may have no choice but to fight through her fatigue.

“What is it? Are they moving in the west?” she asked.

“No. Nothing so dire,” he assured. “It's just... ahhh... Well, your presence has been requested.” He grimaced and glanced over his shoulder, toward the gate, and then muttered, “Sun keep the shadow from me.”

She relaxed for a moment at the quiet prayer. She had heard the guards mutter it only a few hours earlier when she checked the ridge's defenses.

“What is Nil doing?” she asked with a heavy sigh as she made her way toward the gate. He had seemed well – as well as a man like him could be. In fact, he seemed happier and more human than she had ever seen him before. Ignoring the violent metaphors.

She was used to them. Sort of.

“He's not doing anything...” The guard trailed off at her withering glare. “He's... uhhh... been talking with the others.”

She gaped at the guard. “I know he's not exactly good at light conversation, but what's wrong with him talking to the others?”

Despite Nil's awkwardness, her other allies didn't seem the sort to worry over his strange way of speaking. Teb was the only one who might get nervous, but he was too kind to make a big deal out of it. The guards were the only ones who seemed genuinely afraid of Nil's presence.

“It's not that it's wrong... it's just...”

“Oh good! You found her!” Vanasha called out as they passed through the gate.

There was something in Vanasha's tone that set Aloy on edge, made her hackles raise with the instinctive urge to flee. She found herself pitying Uthid, and when she caught his gaze, he seemed to sense as much.

“You certainly took your time answering an urgent summons, little huntress,” Vanasha teased.

“I came as soon as the guard found me,” Aloy said, sending a wary glance down the hill toward the lone man standing sentinel by the river. “What's going on? Did Nil... say something... _strange_?”

Everything he said was strange, so she hoped it was just a misunderstanding.

“Oh yes, he said something strange indeed,” Vanasha said with a smile that only made Aloy's anxiety grow. There was a glint in her eye. The sort of glint she caught when Vanasha teased Uthid about his spear.

Aloy looked to Uthid again to see him grimace – pity in his gaze. He shrugged in response to her unspoken question.

“You should _really_ speak with him again,” Vanasha urged. “It's too important to put off.”

She heaved a deep sigh and steeled herself for... well... whatever bloody, morbid things Nil had to say this time. She was used to it. He was nice to her, in his own strange way. He was just awkward, and she couldn't judge him too harshly for that. He was different, an outsider. She hated to think they had anything in common – despite his insistence – but she could relate in a way.

She glanced at Janeva on her way down to the water, hoping Nil's former warden could shed light on why she was brought back to the ridge. Janeva's silent response was a shrug and a nod toward the river. Whatever was going on, it wasn't anything that had Janeva worried, so Aloy felt it was just a misunderstanding.

“Nil?” she called out as she approached.

She came to an abrupt halt when he turned to face her.

Nil was smiling. Genuinely smiling. It wasn't filled with blood-lust or some sick delight at the prospect of a challenging fight. It was a happy smile, like he was glad to see her again.

“Is something... wrong?” she asked, uncertain what to make of the gleam in his eye. He was excited. It was similar to the glimmer of silver she would catch as he stared down a bandit camp, but there were no bandits or enemy soldiers or deranged machines in front of him, and his body lacked the tension of an impending fight.

He was at ease. And happy.

She couldn't understand the electric pulse that filled her with energy, an excitement that might match his own – except where it left him relaxed, she only felt the tension in her spine coil tighter.

“No, no, nothing is wrong,” Nil answered.

“Then why did they send a guard to find me? And what did you say to Vanasha that was so strange?”

Nil cocked his head to the side, confusion flickering in his eyes. His emotions had become more transparent to her with every encounter they had, but now she could see them as clear as day.

And they still confused her.

“I was speaking with Janeva about the wound you left on me,” he explained with a tap to his chest, just over his heart.

The reminder made her stomach flip and flutter.

“I told her how you broke my heart by refusing to duel me,” he continued, “and how your words gave me so much to think on.”

She looked over her shoulder to see Janeva watching them from the lower battlement, openly curious.

“And?” Aloy prompted. “We discussed it already. I don't understand why you needed me to come back out here.”

“Well, Janeva said it was a good thing, and I agree, but I had hoped she would shed light on why the wound began to ache after seeing you again?”

This was going to be an especially strange conversation. One with an audience, she noticed, as the others gathered around Janeva to watch.

Aloy moved closer to the river. Nil followed without question. She stopped at the bank, her back to the water, and shot a harsh glare over Nil's shoulder when she heard Vanasha and Petra chuckle.

“So, your... _wound_ hurts again?”

Nil nodded. “It's strange, actually. It had turned into this dull ache that would throb whenever I thought of you... The way you would smile to yourself when your arrow pierced a bandit's throat, or the quiet grace you would stalk your prey with, how you would move through the grass with a violent whisper, and how our patience would be rewarded with that sweet, crimson splash as your spear slipped between ribs.”

“Okay, Nil! Get to the point!” she snapped. The happy gleam in his eye had begun to fog over with blood-lust. He almost looked wistful, yet thirsty for battle. His hands clenched at his sides, tension filled his frame, like a stalker preparing to pounce. She almost took a step back out of sheer instinct, but she stopped herself.

Nil had honor. She had no reason to fear him.

He shook his head. “But that is part of the point. When you came out here before, the pain eased even though I could still feel the wound, the pressure between my ribs. Then you walked away, and the pain returned. I couldn't rub it away. It only grew. Like another arrow was caught in my flesh, twisting with every second I thought about it.”

“Then don't think about it,” she said brusquely.

“If only it were that simple, Aloy. But this is a wound you gave me. All I can do is think about it.”

That fluttering, electric current grew into a frenzy as it coursed through her limbs. It was like the first time she felt the charge of a stormbird's blast, but rather than fill her with pain, it left her nervous, anxious. It took all her strength to keep herself from fidgeting as Nil's expression radiated happiness again.

“But now it's growing dull again,” he said with another tap to his chest. “Just a little thump to remind me it's there, like a firm strike from the butt of your spear.”

“Okay, so it's all better, then! Glad I could help!” she said in rush, hoping that it really was all he needed, even though she still didn't understand anything that he was saying, or why it would make Vanasha call for her.

“Wait, there's one more thing,” Nil said, his arms lifting slightly, as though he was prepared to physically stop her from leaving.

“What is it, Nil?”

“Well, Janeva wasn't sure how I could ease the pain long enough for me to focus on our battle.”

“I doubt it's enough to distract you from all the bloodshed. You're a seasoned soldier. This is what you do.”

“Oh, I am sure I can put it aside when our foes stand before us, ready to take every one of my arrows, but until that time arrives, I fear I will not be able to think of anything but you.”

“I don't know how to help you, Nil. I still don't fully understand how I wounded you in the first place.”

“That Vanasha girl had an idea of what might soothe the ache.”

She glanced around Nil to glare at the Carja woman who grinned viciously at her. “Vanasha, huh?”

Nil nodded. “She thought a hug might help.”

Her attention snapped back to Nil, shocked at the words that just left his mouth. Did she hear him correctly? Was this all a strange dream her mind conjured to distract her from the risk of failure, the consequences she dreaded if she fell before eliminating HADES?

She waited a moment, hoping he would add something violent to his bold statement. Something about embracing each other before embracing the surety of their deaths. That sounded more like something he would say, though the thought of it still left her dumb-founded.

“I'm sorry? You want... _a hug!?_ Are you... are you feeling okay, Nil? Did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Maybe... maybe it was something you ate... we might want to find a healer.”

“I don't think a healer would help in this. That Nora boy who brought us medicine said it was not a wound he could stitch.”

“Wait! You talked to Teb about it, too?” She found Teb watching with the others. He smiled nervously and gave her a meek wave.

“Janeva suggested I ask him for something to ease the pain, but he said there was no balm for heartache.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, “All-Mother save me, this is strangest conversation we've ever had.”

“But Vanasha was certain that a simple hug would remedy it for a short time. And that Oseram girl agreed.”

Aloy's renewed glare shot to Petra – her smile was shameless as she called out, “Just give the man a hug, already!”

“You _actually_ want a hug?” she quietly asked Nil.

When was the last time she hugged someone? She supposed the last person she approached for some comfort, some gesture of care and reassurance - it had to be Rost, but that time felt like such a distant memory after everything she had been through in the months since she lost him. And he wasn't the type to give much affection. He had raised her to survive on her own. He couldn’t coddle or spoil her, provide her with too much warm. It would make her too soft, and she did not want to imagine how painful it would be to miss a simple gesture of affection after it was gone, stripped away from her before she was ready.

The light in Nil's eyes dimmed, his expression softened as he slumped forward. There was... something like sympathy in the way he looked at her, a solemn expression directed at her that reminded her of their conversation before she set off for Maker's End. He had recognized her struggles, empathized with her – something she hadn't thought him capable of until that moment. But now it was tinged with disappointment as his head hung, as if he expected her to reject him again.

“Only if you are willing to give it,” he said so that only she could hear. “I can see the pain of a raw wound reopening. The last thing I wish to do is watch you wither as your heart bleeds out in your chest. You can always refuse me.” His smile returned – strained, forced. “I will never push you to do something you don't want to do.”

She released a long breath she hadn't been aware she was holding as he spoke. Nil was right. She could refuse him. Again. He would take it, accept it, even if it disappointed him.

But his words struck something in her. How did he see her pain so well? How did he know what weighed on her back? Then and now, he seemed to see through the tough wall she projected to the others. The pillar of strength and determination, unwilling to bend at the pressure placed on her. He found a crack, a hair-line seam in her defense, and peered through to what she kept hidden within.

Most people didn't come close enough to see so much, and if they did, they never said anything that might break the facade, expose the bleeding mess Nil could so clearly see. The scar on her neck, the bruises and broken bones – they had all healed. But there were some wounds that may never go away.

By the Goddess, her thoughts were starting to sound like him, too.

But the truth was, she might need this as much as he did.

She shook her head and turned away. Nil slumped further, utterly dejected, until she gave one sharp command.

“Follow.”

“Anywhere,” he whispered as he fell in place behind her.

“Oh, come on!” she heard Vanasha shout. “I wanted to see this spectacle!”

And that was why she walked across the river, toward the mesa on the other side.

She held a finger to her lips to signal for Nil to be quiet as they neared stalker territory. Her Focus picked up the electric feedback of the machine's cloaking as she crouched in the grass and crept around the mesa, staying as close to the red stone wall as she could. She spotted the hand holds leading up to the top, to safety – from machines, as well as spies – and gestured for Nil to head up first while she kept her gaze on a flicker of movement, a glimmer of light beneath the trees. She was tempted to tame the machine, but if Vanasha was especially inclined to watch, Aloy wanted to make any attempt to follow as difficult as possible.

Once Nil was halfway up, Aloy grabbed hold of the carved stone and hoisted up after him. She sighed in relief after hauling herself over the top. The mesa was deserted, the lone merchant she once found up there long gone with the others who fled to safer lands. They were perfectly alone, shrouded by bushes and trees. Vanasha wouldn't be able to see a thing.

“Going to such lengths to hide a simple gesture from your allies,” Nil teased.

“I’m not something for them to find entertainment in,” she grumbled.

“True, but I'm sure they mean well.”

She huffed and kicked a rock off the cliff's edge. “They mean to laugh at us.”

Nil's head canted to the side at the venom lacing her tone. She was annoyed and she wasn't afraid to show him as much.

“The shadow of war looms over us all,” Nil said as he took a step toward her. “Tensions run high. Every crack of a branch, every call of a bird, every unseen crash in the trees could be a sign of our enemies moving closer. We stand on the very precipice of death, and this battle promises that not all will return. Not all are hardened and indifferent to that fact. Some need to find a moment of joy or pleasure, no matter how small, to cope with the uncertainty of their end. What better to sate their thirst for life than the sight of one comrade embracing another?”

The threat of her temper quelled at his reasoning. She hated when he actually made sense.

She knew Vanasha's intentions were not cruel. This was not like Bast, throwing stones at her and laughing as blood trickled into her eye. This was not like the other Nora who hissed curses and slurs at her, chased her off with shouts, and then turned away to laugh as she struggled to fight back the tears burning in her eyes.

Everyone on the ridge had come to fight with her, because of her. She wasn't sure if she could call them friends, not yet, but she liked to believe that one day she could.

“If their laughter is as cruel as an arrow piercing your back, I could always go back down there and kill them for you,” Nil suggested.

“You will not kill my friends,” she bit out in warning before drawing back and snapping her mouth shut. Maybe they were already friends. She didn't know how any of this worked.

Nil raised his hands in surrender. “No, no. Only your enemies. But I must admit, seeing their jests upset you has made the thought quite tempting.”

Aloy sighed. “I appreciate the... _sentiment_ , but it's not necessary.”

Nil nodded. “Then I will save the killing for those who have earned it. Now then" - he held his arms out and grinned – “are we doing this, or did you just bring me up here to talk about all the cultists you've killed? I heard rumors they forced you to fight a deranged behemoth in the Sun Ring. I'm eager to hear how you defeated it. And how did you escape? It must have been a-"

“Nil! You're not making this any easier.”

He let out a soft chuckle, unfazed by her glare.

“You _actually_ want a hug?” she asked, still unable to believe Nil would make such a request.

He shrugged. “I’m curious to see if it will help.”

She eyed his expectant posture, uncertain though tempted by her own curiosity. Nil was one of the last people she expected to ask for any sort of affectionate gesture. In fact, the thought had never once crossed her mind. She couldn't even imagine it.

“Have you ever hugged anyone in your life?”

“Of course.”

She pointedly looked at the knife hanging from his belt. “Without stabbing them in the gut at the same time?”

His body went slack and his gaze shifted to the sky in thought. She _really_ didn't like how long it took for him to answer with a half-hearted, dismissive shrug.

“I am sure that there was a time in my childhood when someone embraced me.”

“That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.”

Nil glowered. “I was a soldier for most of my life, and then spent two years in an isolation cage – such comforts are not something I’ve cared enough to seek out.”

“Until now?”

Another shrug. “No other person has wounded me as you have.”

The temptation to give in clawed incessantly at her chest. She couldn't believe that she was considering this... couldn't believe that some part of her genuinely _wanted_ this.

“Here, if it will ease your mind.” Nil pulled his knife from his belt and slammed it into the dirt. She didn't think he would hurt her, he had too much honor to do that, but the gesture was enough to fully sway her.

Even more so when he pulled his bow and quiver from his back, setting them on the ground with more love and care than he showed his knife. The intimate meaning of the gesture was not lost to her. The act of a soldier - especially a man who reveled in bloodshed - removing his weapons was never to be taken lightly. Save for his armor, he stood defenseless before her.

_Vulnerable._

The thought shook her to her core.

Ignoring the tremor that passed through her limbs, she pulled her spear from her back and carefully set it on the ground at her side. Her bow and quiver followed shortly after. When she looked at Nil again, she found him relaxed, but his gaze held a sharp edge of understanding. The gesture of removing her weapons had a more distinct meaning to them both, and likely meant far more than an embrace to him.

“You can still refuse,” he offered as she remained frozen in place, unable to take that step to close the distance between them.

She took a deep breath, balled her hands up, and then forced herself to relax with one long exhale.

“No... I'm... I guess I'm curious now, too,” she said as she finally took a step forward...

And then froze.

“Wait, one more thing,” she said, pausing Nil just as he drew closer. He pouted in annoyance as she stepped away to remove her Focus, his brow arching as she tenderly set it on top of her quiver. “Just trust me.”

She would rather hug Nil in front of the entirety of the Nora and Carja tribes than ever allow Sylens to witness what was about to happen.

“Okay, I'm ready.” She gathered all her courage and resolve – far easier to do with the decision made – and opened her arms to him.

She tensed on instinct as his hands slowly slid over her waist. He didn't latch onto her, didn't grasp her up into his arms. He was mindful, perhaps uncertain, kept his eyes locked with hers as she awkwardly wound her arms around his shoulders.

“This is weird,” she muttered.

“Because you're thinking too much,” he pointed out.

She sneered at him. Of course, she was thinking too much. This was something completely outside of everything she knew about him. He was the shadow the Carja feared. He was death personified. He was the one willing to bloody his hands to cleanse the rot from their world, leaving behind a better place for the lives of the innocent to flourish.

He was not hugs and tenderness. He may weave his words into poetic verses, but they were drowned in blood and bone.

The way his feathers tickled her cheek as he drew her closer clashed with the image of him in battle, the red of his feathers blurred with the crimson splash arcing off his knife.

“Just relax, Aloy,” he whispered as his arms wrapped tight around her waist and back. His grip was steel, caging her in, as though he feared she would flee like frightened prey. “Take a deep breath and hold it, savor it as you would a particularly challenging kill" – he took a breath with her, the frame pressed against her coiling taut – “and then release,” he said as he let go of his breath, beckoning her to do the same.

The tension melted from her body, even as his hold turned solid and certain, conveying strength – not to kill, but to protect.

The Nil standing with her now was not the Nil she met in Nora land. He was not the former soldier turned bandit hunter. He was not the man desperate for a fight, a challenge. He was not the man willing to throw away his life, or her own, for one last chance to feel that rush death gave him. Something had changed in him, like a small flicker of light trying to burn away the darkest of nights.

Nil sighed as he buried his face against her neck. The heat of his breath washed over her flesh, making it tingle. A shiver threatened to race down her spine, so she tightened her hold, digging her fingers into the back of his vest to ward off the unfamiliar sensation.

“Is it... helping?” she asked after a moment, when she noticed his shoulders relax.

His weight leaned into her, his hands splayed over her side and shoulder, pulling her closer still. He hummed in response, his nose nuzzling over the scar Helis left on her, the reminder of how close she came to death, and how easily it came to steal away all that she loved.

Her eyes burned against her will.

She should want to push him away, distance him, find peace in her solitude. But as the tremors of fear returned at the memory of all she lost, and the pressure of what she could lose if she failed, all she wanted to do was sink into the strength of his embrace, to greedily leech whatever comfort he could give her.

She hid her face against his neck and echoed his sigh. She had never been this close to him, had never been so close to another person, apart from Rost. He smelled of metal and heat, the scent of a wandering soldier, but there was a subtle tang of fruit, a bite of spice – scents she associated with the Carja, but not as strong as the perfumes the city above greeted her with. It was something foreign and familiar all at once, and she found breathing him in offered just as much comfort as the arms securely wrapped around her.

She doubted she would ever understand how she could derive comfort from someone like Nil, but in that moment, she didn't want to try.

“Hmm, this is troublesome,” Nil murmured, his lips brushing over her neck with each word like a gentle caress. Electric heat crackled down her spine, but she ignored the sensation to focus on his words.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed and shifted. A hand trailed up, tangled in her hair, and this time she could not fight back the shiver it induced.

“I've never known a sense of calm to be as intoxicating and exciting as the thrill of death. Too much peace makes me restless, makes me long to feel the snap of a bowstring, to hear the calls of my foes as their flesh opens to me. But this” – another drawn out sigh and tender nuzzle – “I feel it all wash away. The peace and quiet I always imagine to come at the end, except I'm alive, filled with this thrum of energy more intense than anything I have known. I could drown in this feeling and not once fight it.”

Her heart raced as understanding dawned on her. It left her dizzy and uncertain, but even less willing to let go.

Nil chuckled, pressing his nose into her flesh. “Your pulse has quickened, girl. I can feel the anticipation coiling in your spine. What battle are you preparing for here?”

His teasing tone irked her, yet she did not pull away. But she would change the subject before he noticed anything else about her behavior, and how eager she was to maintain their embrace.

“What changed your mind?” she asked in the hope of distracting him, as well as draw her mind away from the unfamiliar urge to mirror his movements and dig her fingers into his hair, her curious mind keen to learn how he might respond.

“Hm?”

“You hate fighting machines, and you didn't want to get involved in a political war, yet you came here to do both of those things. Why?”

“I told you-"

“Impossible odds, fine company, and killing without consequence. I know, but I don't think that's enough to sway you.”

“Then you grossly underestimate the value of the _fine company_ that drew me here.” He squeezed her tight to signal that he spoke of her. She knew that he was there for her, yet the intimate nature of his reminder made her flush.

“I wasn't enough to convince you before.”

“A regret of mine. Perhaps if I had considered your suggestion sooner, we would not have to depend on you here to stave off certain doom. It was short-sighted on my part to dismiss this as a purely political situation, but I did not wholly understand the nature of the war you fought. And it was a delicate matter for me, anyway.”

Her heart sank as he pulled back, but he didn't release her, only shifted to meet her gaze. Her breath caught at how close he was, how warm the silver of his eyes had turned, tinted with subtle specks of blue she had never noticed before.

Like the midday sky reflected off a polished, steel blade.

“I respect our Sun-King's desire for peace. I may no longer be a soldier, but that would not matter to the likes of Helis or Bahavas. If I was seen moving against the Shadow Carja, or this extremist faction they created, they would proclaim me a spy, an agent working for Avad, and declare the ceasefire broken. The war would return all because of my actions. A grave crime I did not care to commit.”

“I would have thought you'd want the chance to be a soldier again.”

“Only for a leader I respect, one willing to make a stand against mindless butchers... Even if she is making that stand alone.”

“What about Avad? You said you respect him and his goals.”

“I do. But he is still not the one who drew me here, he is not the warrior I've vowed to follow into the flames of war. Our Sun-King may be good and noble, but his hands are tied by politics. His first thought will always be Meridian and the Carja. His potential allies know this, so they will not be easy to keep. On the other hand, your allegiance is to everyone. You draw people to you like -"

“Infection to a wound?” she interrupted.

“What? No. What sort of comparison is that?”

“One you've made before.”

He shook his head and she thought she caught the corner of his lips curve up in a rueful smile. “Applicable to bandits, yes. Not you. You're the cure. You're the surgeon, and everyone here was drawn to you because you need more than one knife to cut away this rot.”

“So? You're my knife now?” she asked, an inexplicable urge bubbling up inside her.

“I am.”

“Which means... my knife has a name.”

His jaw went slack and gaze grew distant. He started to say something, then snapped his mouth shut, and glared. She had to bow her head as she stifled her laughter at his shocked reaction.

“Are you... Were you teasing me just now?”

She nodded. “I couldn't resist.”

He couldn't hide the hint of amusement, but he still tried to mask it with a stern glare. “Sometimes I just don't get you.”

“The feeling is mutual, Nil.” She began to pull away. “Now, if you’re done hugging me, we should get back down there.”

His hold on her tightened, and she was met with his sulky pout.

“Don't give me that look. There is a cult gathering up an army of corrupted machines right now. We cannot stay up here.”

His frown deepened.

“Nil,” she snapped in warning.

“Fine,” he groaned as he grudgingly released her.

She would never admit it to anyone, but he was kind of cute when he sulked. At least this time he was sulking over a hug, not a refused duel.

“Did it at least help?” she asked as he stepped back.

“Ehhh, it was helping.” He rubbed his chest, just over his heart, while his face twisted with discomfort. “The balm seems to wear off fast. It will likely hurt even worse later.”

Her gaze had followed his hand without a thought and lingered on the flesh exposed by his open vest. She couldn't help but snort at the red marks on his skin, left by her armor as he held her tight against him.

“Probably would have been better without armor,” she mused.

Nil's brow cocked high, his hand froze on his chest. “That's a bold suggestion coming from you.” Her eyes widened as she realized what she had unintentionally insinuated. “One I'm inclined to agree with.”

Her whole face felt like it was on fire, hotter than the burn of the midday sun. “I didn't mean it like that!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

She huffed and tried to ignore him as she grabbed her Focus and weapons. It was impossible to forget his presence. She was too embarrassed, and hyper-aware of every movement he made as he picked up his own gear. Her comment had been innocuous, but now aware of the suggestive meaning her words could take, that curious part of her that led her to bring Nil up there for a hug in the first place was awakened. And now it knew what it felt like to be in his arms, providing clues to what more she could feel without the bulk and sharp metal edges of their armor standing between them.

She would be able to feel the heat of his hands, the way his frame moved with hers, the contours of his body, and how they might fit together.

They were on the cusp of a battle that could kill them both, the last thing she should be thinking about was _that!_

“Perhaps if we both escape from death's cold embrace, we can test that theory,” Nil casually suggested as he slipped his knife into his belt.

She should say no. She should _definitely_ say no. But the wrong word formed on her tongue, bidden to sate her boundless curiosity.

“Maybe.”

His knowing grin sparked her temper as her patience with the subject ran thin. She stormed by him, sight set on the rappel point on the other side of the mesa. Nil followed without another word, like a silent shadow following the movement of the sun.

Sun and shadow. Life and death. Two halves of a whole.

Either she was spending too much time with the Carja, or the desert sun was getting to her, because suddenly the prophecy Helis blathered on about made sense. Not for him, but for her.

She stopped and spun to face Nil, glowered at the confused tilt of his head.

“I really am glad that you're here,” she blurted out. “I... We all need you.”

“I have no doubt that you could win this war without me. But I am glad to lend my bow to your cause if you think it could help better your odds.”

“It will,” she said, her confidence genuine. She didn't believe in any superstitious prophecy, but she did believe in the strengths of everyone that had gathered with her. She needed all of them to end this war. “But I had been surprised when Marad said people came specifically for me. I never expected” – she took a deep breath and released it in a heavy sigh – “ _anyone_ to come here for me. Least of all you. When you said it was over... I thought... I thought that was the last I would see of you.”

“Have more confidence in your ability to sway the hearts of others. And don't begrudge what I said then, with my heart broken and bleeding from your arrow. I know now that I would rather fight with you, back to back, than against you. I will always follow you into the fray if you'll allow me.”

Nil was the last person she expected to show her such loyalty. He said himself that he had fought for and against the Carja, that he could not be too picky if he wanted a war. To garner some sense of dedication from a man who had no qualms about switching sides was both shocking and reassuring.

And the need to return that feeling was too great to ignore.

“Thank you, Nil,” she said as she took a step forward, careful not to alarm him.

He watched her, his face a mask of curiosity, as she placed a hand on his shoulder and tugged him down while she leaned up. She felt his jaw drop as her lips brushed over his cheek. She pulled back enough to see his look of surprise, awe mingling with the emotion in his flickering silver eyes. She was so close, she could feel his breath on her lips as he turned his face toward hers, his gaze flitting between her eyes and lips. She could feel the tension crackling in his frame - his breath came quicker, his body coiled and readied for action.

She wondered what would happen when that pressure gave way.

“I hope I get to see you again once this is over,” she whispered.

He nodded, apparently struck speechless by her gesture, and then she stepped away to regain her senses before the tension building within her could give way first. She noticed Nil's arms were raised, hovering in the air as though he meant to grab on to her.

That knowledge thrilled her, gave her a tiny rush of confidence unlike anything she had felt before.

She wouldn't act on that, not yet, so before he could snap from his stupor, she rushed for the mesa's edge and flung herself off, turning her amused laugh into one of excitement as she rappelled down the cliffside.

Nil landed on the ground below moments after her, shared a gentle look with her, and then silently walked back to the ridge with her, sticking so close to her side that his hand brushed the back of hers every few steps. He broke away at the river, returning to his post on the bank. She caught him rub his chest again and knew the hug hadn't fully healed his _wound_ , but he was either content enough not to say anything more on it, or he was still in shock from her kiss.

They wouldn't address that yet, not when war loomed over them. Their ultimate fate was too uncertain to discuss anything to come in the future.

Vanasha stepped off the battlement she and Uthid were stationed at, her lower lip pushed out in an exaggerated pout.

“My turn, little huntress,” she called out, arms open wide.

Aloy laughed as what little ire remained from earlier vanished at Vanasha's gesture. She didn't hesitate to entertain the request this time. If she could hug Nil, and find comfort in his arms, then she could hug any of the allies who came to her aid.

“I'm sorry if we embarrassed you. Forgive me?” Vanasha whispered as she squeezed her tight.

“I know you didn't mean anything malicious by it. You were just teasing us. Nil explained it.”

“He did? Hmmm. Interesting,” Vanasha cooed. “You continue to intrigue me. But I shouldn't be surprised. If you can tame a rampaging sawtooth, then taming a man with as many shadows as that one should be no problem.”

Aloy snorted, but before she could respond, Petra broke into their hug.

“You Carja need to stop hogging her. If Aloy's passing out hugs today, then you have to give me a turn next,” she said as she tugged Aloy away to swallow into her ironclad embrace.

“Oh boy,” Aloy said through a wheeze as Petra tightened her hold and lifted her. The shield on her armor pinged from the strength of her hug.

“Oh, what a splendid idea,” Vanasha declared.

“Oh no.”

“Everyone gather around! Our favorite huntress needs some affection! I see you hiding over there, Nora boy. Come on over. Don't be shy. You, too, Uthid. Oh, you did not just growl at me. Get over here or I will grab you by your spear...”

Aloy’s fatigue melted away as she found herself surrounded by her allies – _friends._ She glanced back as Petra grudgingly handed her off to Elida, curious to see if Nil would take advantage of the chaos for another hug. She was almost disappointed to see him rooted in place at his station, but then she noticed his head angle back, just enough for her to catch his eye and a glimpse of a gentle smile.

She clung to her hope that they would win this war, that they would all survive. She did not want to lose anyone else. She wanted to hold on to all the people who opened their arms to her.

She wanted to greet another dawn and see what the future would bring.

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not be planning another one-shot to follow this. It may or may not be shameless smut.
> 
> I am also writing a longer, slow-burn fic for this pairing, but I don't plan to post it until I get further along with it - just in case I lose my motivation for it like all my other fics.
> 
> I have never before loved a game so much that I've wanted to write fic for it, so this is very new to me, but I'm enjoying this current hyperfixation too much to care.


End file.
